I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
