This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
