Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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