id be glad to
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
