worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
