super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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