I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
