Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
