Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
