I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
