Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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