Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
