96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
