Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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