How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
