Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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