Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
