I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
