Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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