Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
