i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
