You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
