so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
