I'm going to rape someone's good day.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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