And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
