I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
