I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
