We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
