Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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