I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Enjoy the penises
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
