I could make wine with my vomit
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize