:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Randomize
