you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
