That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
