Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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