I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
