Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
