i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
