sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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