Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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