We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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