Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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