at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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