I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize