Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
