it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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