is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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