I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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