so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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