So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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