When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
