Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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