just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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