Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
