I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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