it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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