honey bunches of taint.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
