She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
