i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
