i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
