I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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