I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
