I hope mine doesn't look like that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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