There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
