the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
