Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
