apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
