Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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