Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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