"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Damn victory sex feels great
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
