she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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