It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
