so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
