surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
