Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
