Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
