i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
