No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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